Friday, January 07, 2005

Jackass Soda: Jones Holiday Pack Reviewed

So back in mid-November, I did my first Jackass Soda entry on the release of the Jones Holiday Pack. I purchased one as soon as I saw it (good thing- they sold out quickly) and I finally got the chance to try it over the weekend, and here is my summary- 5 jackass soda reviews in one.

The samples were served ice-cold in small paper Dixie cups. My sister-in-law Cathy (Awsom 1) was brave enough to join me on this journey, and my beautiful wife Debbie joined us for the two "dessert" sodas.

We decided to go from least appealing flavor to most, with Cathy determining the ultimate order (Mashed Potato seemed least appealing to me...)

Green Bean Casserole Soda
What a murky green color. The smell was kind of like celery, so I was hopeful for the taste. I soon found out the downfall of all of the soda in the holiday pack:

Artificial Sweetener. Splenda, to be precise.

Now in my time of enjoying jackass sodas, I've found that the sweetener often makes or breaks the product. If the sweetener is too strong, the soda is ruined. Simple as that.

Now I'm not saying that the taste of carbonated green beans would be better than Splenda, but green beans is what I was expecting, and Splenda is what I got.

I didn't think it was too bad, other than the Splenda. Cathy didn't finish her sample.

Turkey & Gravy Soda
Well, it sure looks like gravy, but...

It smells sweet! More Splenda!

It tastes like turkey and gravy- if you stuffed the turkey with Sweet N Low.

Neither Cathy or I could finish this...

Mashed Potato Soda
This one totally smells like Mashed Potatoes. The sweetness was still there, but it gave the soda almost a vanilla flavor, I thought. Cathy said "It really, really tastes like mashed potatoes." Neither of us finished our samples. The taste of potatoes lingered, which was not good.

Fruitcake Soda
Good color, looked like fruitcake. Had a bit of a cake taste to it, a little gingery, too. The artificial sweetener was overwhelming, surprise, surprise. I liked it more than Deb and Cathy, but we all agreed it could have been better. No one finished their sample.

Cranberry Soda
This was actually pretty damn good. It still has that Splenda aftertaste, but it worked O.K. with the tartness of the cranberry. It was a good diet soda and a fair representation of the flavor of canned cranberry sauce. I would drink it again. Cathy had seconds, and I finished the bottle. This was the only bottle that didn't have 8 ounces or more poured down the drain...

Overall, this was a disappointment. If you're going to make soda taste like something unusual, your target audience probably isn't watching their calories. Use real cane sugar (and only sparingly) to get the taste as accurate as possible. Jones make excellent sugared sodas- why didn't do so here is beyond me. They went purely on the novelty and didn't strive for taste. I mean, a limited edition set of 5 bottles for $15 (much of it going to charity), you're not going to get people coming back for more, regardless of the taste. But Jones made a Holiday Pack in 2003 as well as this year- if they do it again and stick with Splenda, this is one jackass who will not be fooled twice...

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